What Happened? Listening to Lived Experience to Prevent Harm

When we listen to lived experience, we create better resources, challenge assumptions and help create safer communities for everyone.

No-one has ever asked them “what happened to you?”. It’s always been professionals, carers and guardians telling them what they have done and what is going to happen next. Nobody has really asked, ‘How did you get here?’ and genuinely listened to the answer.”

This comment from a prison officer at HMP & YOI Polmont really hit home with our team. For more than 10 years, we have worked with disabled people, young people and people with lived experience across Scotland to develop FREE films, lesson plans and resources covering difficult topics such as disability hate crime, bullying, child criminal exploitation, child sexual exploitation and more. We believe that everyone has the right to feel safe, valued and respected within their community. Over the years, we have become increasingly passionate about our mantra: “Nothing about us, without us.”

People are experts in their own experiences and their own journeys. If we want to create education and prevention resources that really make a difference, we need to listen to people who have lived through the issues we are trying to address. We all know that young people, can be honest when they don’t like something, which we love! They tell us time and time again that they want honest discussions and realistic scenarios. They want to learn about situations they actually face, not situations adults think they face. They want resources that reflect the reality of their lives.

What better way to do that than spending time with people who have lived those experiences and asking, “What happened?” Whether we’re talking about disability hate crime, exploitation, bullying or unhealthy relationships, the conversations are often surprisingly similar. People want to feel safe. They want to be listened to. And they want to understand what their options are when something isn’t right. The more people understand their rights, recognise harmful behaviour and know where to find support, the safer our communities become.

Our work in Polmont brought that lesson into even sharper focus. When we began working with young adults in Polmont, we wanted to better understand the answer to that question: “How did you get here?” We wanted to hear people’s stories and learn from their experiences. The discussions were honest, raw and sometimes difficult. As the project developed, people started opening up about their lives and the experiences that had brought them to where they were. We heard about trauma, difficult relationships, poverty, loss, poor role models and unhealthy influences. What surprised us, was that very few people saw themselves as victims of exploitation or grooming. It was only by talking through experiences and listening to different perspectives that some began to see things differently.

That isn’t to say people weren’t saying they weren’t responsible for their actions. They were. In fact, many spoke openly about decisions they regretted and the consequences that followed. What the conversations did provide was an opportunity to look beyond a person’s offence and better understand the experiences and influences that had helped shape their journey. Their stories challenged stereotypes. Too often, people are defined by the worst decision they have made or the label attached to them. What we found were people whose lives had been shaped by experiences that many of us will never fully understand. Rather than assuming, we listened. By doing this, the people we worked alongside became part of the solution. They helped shape powerful educational films and resources, using their experiences to educate others about exploitation, healthy relationships, alcohol and substances, online influences and the consequences of harmful choices. In many ways, they became the educators. By talking about their experiences, it was important to them that they could potentially help another young person recognise a risk, get support earlier or make a different choice.

When we listen to lived experience, we create better resources. When we involve people in designing solutions, we achieve greater impact.

And when we start by asking “What happened to you?” instead of focusing solely on “What’s wrong with you?”, we create space for understanding, empathy and meaningful change. If we are serious about preventing harm and creating safer communities, people with lived experience must be at the heart of the conversation. Not as an afterthought, but as the starting point. Because nothing about us should ever be without us.

Watch a short STV report on the project HERE – https://youtu.be/unRmLD46ep8?si=GHRN8hLWpHTqoauV

If you would like any more information, please contact the I am Me team on iamme@renfrewshire.gov.uk  

These multi-award-winning resources and many more can be found on the I Am Me Scotland Education platform and is free for all practitioners in Scotland on iammescotlandeducation.org.uk

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