Shereketo’s story
"If you want to know the truth about living with HIV, you need to ask someone who has HIV."
“I think a lot of people don’t understand that there is life after being diagnosed with HIV. Most people are scared to be tested, and so I’m just trying to change their minds and give them the facts.
When I got tested, it was because I was pregnant. To be honest, if it wasn’t for that, I don’t think I would have been tested, but it was mandatory and I had no option. That is how I found out I was HIV positive. I was so shocked I think I died for a couple of minutes and came back to life! HIV was the last thing on my mind.
I had been a married woman for most of my life, and I had thought that HIV was something for promiscuous people, or sex workers, so I never expected that I would be positive. I thought if I had married a good husband, I would never get HIV. But little did I know my husband had been with somebody else before me, and if you have been with someone else, and they have been with someone else, it is still a chain despite if you are married now. And because I was married, I never got tested.
Finding out I was positive whilst I was pregnant was very scary. It took me back to when I lived in Africa, where there were people dying while they were pregnant. For many, pregnancy was when their HIV came out, and as a result most of them suffered with their pregnancy. Some gave birth to children who were HIV positive who were never well, who were always sick and they suffered a lot too. So my memory went back to that, and I was saying to myself “oh my God, I’ll have an HIV positive child who will never enjoy life.” I didn’t think there would ever be any treatment to stop the virus from progressing to the child.
When I went to my first gynaecologist appointment, he told me I had the option of aborting the child, and it was a fifty percent chance the child would be positive. In this country, you can abort the child due to the medical condition. The doctor gave me five minutes to think about it. Five minutes to make that decision. And so, because of the memories I had, I just came to the decision, I thought “I have to abort the child.”
At the time, I didn’t feel anything at all – I think I was still numb with the news of being positive myself. I had no one to discuss it with at all, and it’s only all these years later when I look back, I see how unfair it was. But back then, I thought he was doing me a favour. Now, I have acquired knowledge about HIV and living with the virus, and I realise it wasn’t fair at all. I don’t feel angry, I think everything happens for a reason, and so I forgive the doctor. I just don’t want the same situation to happen to anyone else, and so I tell people what happened to me, so it won’t happen to them, and they know that you can be healthy and pregnant with HIV and have a child who is HIV negative.
In the aftermath of that situation, I got pregnant again. And this time, I said “no, I’m not going to abort my child.” I had the knowledge about living with HIV. At my appointment, my consultant asked me “so now you are pregnant, what are you going to do?” This time I told him I was keeping the child with a big smile.
Having little knowledge about HIV can be dangerous. I was only two months into my diagnosis the first time I was pregnant, and I had no idea what it is like to live with HIV. So I did some research, I went to support groups – if you want to know the truth about living with HIV, you need to ask someone who has HIV. I think if I had met somebody who was positive back then, and they had told me “I’m living with it, and this is the story of my life” I would have believed that it was possible to have had a healthy pregnancy. But all I heard was the word of consultants, and they told me I was ok, I could survive, but when they said that I would think they are just doing their job, they have to say that.
Years later when I met real people who were living with HIV through support groups, those people made me strong. Those are the people who made me who I am today. It was through hearing their stories, and seeing really is believing and I saw them, and I believed there is life after HIV.”
Shereketo’s story is part of the H is for Human series, in collaboration with the Terrence Higgins Trust, sharing stories of strength, courage and hope from four decades of HIV in Scotland.
For more information on Terrence Higgins Trust and to learn about the work they do, follow this link.
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