Student nurse Nicola shares her worries about going on placement and how she comes to an important realisation.
Placement day is approaching, the day we go out to learn and be a part of this wonderful career we have set our minds to. Am I good enough?
I am there, I’m stood with all the nurses, some are tired, some are bouncy and full of life and some just look at me, it’s another student they are thinking, will she keep up, she has no clue about this job, and I am thinking they are thinking about me and is she good enough?
I am introduced to patients, people. I walk in full of smiles because I want them to like me. I note that not many smiled back, but I’m still in that moment, me thinking do they like me, am I good enough?
Then there’s time to get to know these patients, these people, humans just like me, I hear their stories and they tell me about this life they have, this life I did not see when I first walked in.
One patient is telling me proudly about their marriage of 60 years and I ask will they be visiting today, I can almost see their heart break in the expression in their face and tears in their eyes because no it’s not possible because they also are in another building like this one with their memory slipping away and unable to remember the life they had together.
I realise then this is about them, they are the reason I got up this morning, they are the reason I have chosen to be here, I can walk in and out of this building, I am able to still make my memories, I have choice.
It’s not about me or if I’m good enough, it’s about that person sitting in that bed or chair. I don’t need a smile back, I need them to know I want to be there because now I know it’s not about if I think I am good enough, now I know I will do everything I can to make sure I am good enough for them.
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