Audrey Donaghey, nursing student at the University of the West of Scotland, shares her poem to the Carer Voices team.
This poem was inspired by my amazing Gran, who is living in a care home and has Alzheimers disease. She hasn’t had any physical contact with family for almost a year now, and I imagined this poem from what I think that must feel like for her. I am fortunate to be able to speak with her on the telephone and she tells me about these strangers coming to her window, but she doesn’t know who they are (it’s us). Her memory is not great, however we do sometimes get her back and she tells us she loves us. When I feel emotional about the current no visitation situation I turn it into a positive by writing short poems such as the one below, Wonder.
I wonder who you are I see staring straight back at me
Looking outside the window and what is this I see
A stranger that I’m sure I know but how can this be?
Am I in a dream, I think I’m feeling scared
They’re waving and chanting words, I’m sure I once heard
Beautiful paintings arriving, words on letters with love,
From who I do not know though names I’m sure I’ve heard
What is that ringing? The stranger tells me “answer the call”,
What does this all mean to me, I’m lost and I stall
“Hello” I do answer once shown what to do,
“Hi mum, It’s me. I’m really missing you”
I wonder who you are saying these words to me,
Telling me all your stories, I’m sure it will come back to me.
I am so very lost in a world I just do not know,
With all these lovely people that tell me they love me so.
Another day is upon us, another window view,
The sun is shining so bright and ahh there is you.
Waving from a distance I wish it could be more,
For a touch and a whisper to tell you I love you more.
I may not always remember but always think of this,
Although times are hard just now, we will get through this.
I will hold your hand once more and tell you I love you so.
Always keep smiling, we won’t have long to go,
Before we are together again sitting side by side
Sharing all your stories of what is happening outside.
I wonder who you are I see staring straight back at me.